QUICK THOUGHTS
by
Hayden Wayne
6/13/99
Hope
is a great enough
commodity
to embrace us
all
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5/13/99
I feel, sometimes in my most
frustrated moments, like I’m standing at the edge of a precipice almost willing
to jump, but, knowing with my luck, there’d probably be an updraft.
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6/3/02
Only in New York can you have
a food service with a Jewish name, “Bloomies”, owned by Koreans, serving
Japanese food prepared by Mexicans.
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2/2/94
LIPSTICK AND
PAINT
WILL MAKE YA WHAT
YA AIN’T
BUT JUST SO FAR
__________________________
6/30/94
Never let go of the
horizontal, no matter how vertical you go.
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6/30/94
Whether you are heterosexual
or homosexual and have accepted your choice at the beginning of sexual
awareness, you will be at rest. The
great majority between these opposing poles is in perpetual crisis and hostile,
whether inwardly or outwardly directed.
___________________________
11/6/96
It’s up to Islamic
women…their fate, that is. Only they can free themselves.
________________________________
12/13/96
We are in the paralysis of
indifference where people would rather go to restaurants to pose, while chewing
with their mouths open, contributing the ever-growing cultural vacuum that is
engulfing us all!
The squeeze makes it harder
to breathe, let alone create. Other than
for my own will, I must confess I don’t know what the future holds for us. I can only hope that I’m part of it.
_________________________________
9/12/97 (about the Japanese
man Sukihora)
When you consider all the
innocent children who perished because of tyranny, you have to wonder why God
would allow such a thing. When you
consider that a mere mortal man single-handedly saved 10,000 Jews, who
subsequently begot 40,000 children, his selfless act was more than
God-like. It is human.
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10/2/97
I’m tired of the perpetual
whining and agenda-based excuses. I want know a person on the basis of what he
does and how well he gets it done. I
enjoy the synergy of man’s genius! The
evolution is euphoric. The Renaissance
is here! It’s well underway. So much to
do!!
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10/2/97
People take; humans give
back.
____________________________
11/16/97
Are you brave enough to love?
I think prejudice comes from
waiting to fill expectation. It’s
amazing how children’s laughter may bring you back to earth.
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12/19/97
Speaking the
truth is not politics. Lying is
politics!
Be it from me to
take anyone’s concepts away from them but, the density of intensity does color
art! And mine is dedicated to total commitment and absorption.
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1/4/98
It is not meant
to emasculate when airing questions for the record. If love was ever in
question, the “airing” would not have occurred in the first place. My family is
everything to me!
_______________________
3/3/98
When ones
intensity burns too hot, if misdirected, is distracting and ultimately
destructive. Synergy is the only way to survive. Longevity of purpose is
essential! The connecting tissue grows only stronger.
_______________________
3/4/98
I would love to
sink to a level of lust where my passion would bury itself deep in your memory
for you to draw upon again and again in those moments of need where you wish
for me to return.
_______________________
3/9/98
We’re guided
through. Thus, must make the most of the positive. The passing is fleeting and
memories must be rich in order to guarantee revisitation thus, living them
forever.
The conscious
memory is all we have. Its depth is the measure of longevity. The beauty of
absorption! So many ethical plains to get lost in a perpetual dreamscape.
You really have
to keep your head on straight to perpetually stay ahead of all the bullshit.
Thank God for the intelligence of foresight!
The sooner you
plug in, the easier you will be able to distract yourself for longer periods of
time.
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3/10/98
One's pursuit of
happiness is nobody’s business but his/her own.
There will always
be those who are gifted in communicating their lust. Treasure these experiences
like jewels because they come every so often.
_______________________
3/13/98
A.I.D.S. is the
result of cross genetics using the human species as a Petri dish.
_______________________
3/25/98
It was sung:
“It’s only the beginning...”
So much has been sent
into motion. We must be aware of what we do. Every synapse kinetically moves
our energy into action resulting in dealing with what we’ve sown.
If you chose to
live in a glass house, don’t encourage stoning!
I see a changing
of the guard.
_______________________
3/26/98
The President
pitches ideas to the lower bodies of government, which shades them to their
specific constituency ultimately forcing a compromise. Thus, it seems, with the
power of the media, the Presidential powers lie in speaking and being seen for
humanitarian reasons with other governing bodies giving you permission.
_______________________
3/29/98
It’s interesting
to me, to look back through my life and remember the glorious few who were
physically locked on a specific sexual plain with myself; a very precious few,
indeed.
Some of these
sexual animals I was fortunate to share my mutual lust with physically; the
rest in a fantasy state. I was right in my “Opera Erotica”, you can most
definitely linger for the deepest felt extravagances but, reality is reality.
And if you want to live with someone other than yourself, you must come down to
this plain.
Sexual
co-incision does not necessary guarantee platonic compatibility. After all is
said and done, the brain is still the sexiest organ of the body!
_______________________
4/2/98
As I patiently
sit through the flat line of lack of compositional development, I find myself
meander with my eyes over the audience members below. Sifting through the
various levels of intent listening, I see a woman to my left who seems to be
grooving to the momentary rhythm of the composer at the piano. Not sure why
this listener is motivated to “bop” along, I study her only to realize that she
has Parkinson’s disease.
One atmosphere is
filling this space of time. Endless in its doodling, perpetually meandering to
nowhere, using the full range of the piano but making the ear swear that less
than one octave in its singular modality is being used; each little fragment of
a movement always stopping before any development.
This rambling is
getting me to the point of appreciating the silent pauses more.
Oh, I think she’s
finally stopped.
Oh, God! She just
reached for a second book to continue. What a waste of notes!!
_______________________
4/11/98
This work is
dedicated to those who stood against the tide of tyranny for no other reason
than their goodness.
Is this a hobby,
or do you seriously wish to communicate to someone other than yourself?
Sensitivity
always draws aggression
If your “other”
doesn’t know what they want to do with their life, you’ll be held captive until
they do.
_______________________
5/1/98
Anything that
invites revisitation falls into the category of classicism.
_______________________
5/29/98
“...what am I
doing?... I’m writing... What?..., yeah, make sure you come here and interrupt
me!”
_______________________
6/2/98 Prague
Africa is not
about the brutality of colonialism and the formal nation state. It’s about the
roots of man and its subsequent spiritual center. It’s about one world and how
we inhabit it. Our earth mother, if you will. The resulting migrations happened
from healthy curiosity. Here we are!
As far as
“Punk’s” projected levels of insensitivity and toughness, we already had the
Nazis! So, what’s new?
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6/9/98
Atrophy is a
psychological killer
It’s kind of
scary to think of our lives as insignificant, only tempered by the memories we
leave
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6/9/98
We are the
culmination of everything that happened before and what is first to happen
Those who only
see the deficit in their lives will live in an empty world. Those who recognize
the assets will live with endless possibilities.
_______________________
6/20/98
just refuse to give
in to the negative karma
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6/30/98
If you believe
that life is in balance and, positive energy far outweighs negative, then it’s
safe to assume, granted a dangerous verb, of the 6.2 billion people on this
planet, at least 5.8 are assholes. It’s very exhausting not being an asshole
and balancing the karma of the rest of the world. And, we all back slide into
shit from time to time!
_______________________
8/30/98
My best friend,
other than my wife is dead [Phil Goodbody]. So young, so young. Life is so
precious!
_______________________
11/16/98
I never had the
luxury of the reported ease at writing music as did Shubert effortlessly
sitting down like writing letters; or Mozart retaining an entire score and
writing out the parts as if dictated to; or even Beethoven, who even in
deafness, obviously had perfect pitch.
For me, being a
product of the times, where everyone’s music regardless of taste is perpetually
in the “air”, the mindless roar of encroaching noise, let alone the normal
distractions of family life, where my son has taught me how to concentrate even
beyond my own expectations, I found myself writing the quartets while my
father-in-law played the radio and television the entire time.
Thank God for the
computer which froze the animation of my compositional thoughts so that I could
“pick up” where I left off. Without this tool, my electronic pencil, as it
were, I could never be able to see a compositional hypothesis to fruition. I
could never sustain the concentration for the duration needed to bring the work
to completion.
As far as an
evaluation of my own compositional style, I am about melody and harmony, which
is like breathing air; rhythm, which comes from my primordial roots;
orchestration which is composition; form, which keeps my sanity; clarity and
economy of language; passion and humor; and patience not to rush an idea into
anything but its rightful fruition.
_______________________
8/18/99
In this world of
no attention span, “one trick ponies”, perpetual self involvement and
relentless mediocrity, I find myself in my own self indulgences so not to go
mad from boredom.
I have mastered
long form and the necessary balance it requires to execute. Refining the
never-ending quest towards perfection, I’m constantly in awe of my growing
musical consciousness, wondering, so many times, where do the results come
from? My insane hard work and refusal to settle and being haunted by the
unrequited feelings of “not finished”, obviously, have driven me to my many
compositional successes. But, then there are those certain works which come
from a place where I can only assume my collaborative input was the ability to
listen to a higher consciousness.
I often listen to
my work in a process of refining and find myself so many times, wondering, “How
in the world did I manage to write that?! One might say that I’m in a perpetual
psycho-cybernetic process of listening....constantly aware of continuity and
balance...suspending time within boundaries (if there really are any) of
composition.
_______________________
10/26/99
Art, with a
capital “A”, unfortunately has to navigate in the U.S. where most spell it with
a small “r”.
_______________________
2/27/00
Talk about
whirlwind! Saturday, the 25th, Yitka calls me at 12:30 PM to tell me that she
found out that I came in second in the Prague Opera Competition with my NEON (a
street opera) and that I have to book a flight to Prague so to pick up my prize
the following day. I got on the phone for one hour trying to get a plane
ticket. Finally, managing what was proving to be impossible, now confirmed, I
started packing while Sebastian was running around the apartment tearing things
up with two of his school friends. The plane took off at 10:00PM. I got into
our Prague apartment by 1:30PM Sunday. I showered, crashed for an hour and then
took a taxi to be at the award ceremony at 5:00PM which was held at the Town
Hall. Very heady stuff! I got my 25,000 DM prize, joined the entourage for the
after dinner reception and finally got home to crash in bed by 11:00PM. Woke up
12:00 noon today, to do some errands and will leave tomorrow at 2:00PM to be
home by 11:00PM. Phew!!!!
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5/31/00
The state of
musical theater today:
If you don’t telegraph
the ending of the show within the first fifteen minutes of the first act, which
was derived from a movie that everyone has seen every Christmas for the past
thirty years, it won’t stand a chance.
_______________________
11/1/00
I use a computer
when I compose as if a word processor when writing text. The computer no more
writes the music than a typewriter writes a play. It’s incredibly expedient and
much faster than writing the music out by hand when in the moment of composing.
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